Sexual Racism / Gay Asian Male (GAM)

Racism is a pretty loaded term and it's also a hard concept for people to deal with. I think we like to see ourselves as pretty free of prejudice, but of course, we're not. We make judgements all the time, and often this happens before we meet someone, or before a situation happens. This can be a good thing - a process of critical thinking and choice - or it might not be a good thing, if our preconceptions are preventing us from seeing or taking part in the world in a complete way, or if they hurt other people.

Since about 2002, I've been raising the issue of sexual racism on the internet, and I discovered that others were as well. So, we've joined forces, aiming to raise discussion on the issue, and to make the internet, and maybe by extension, the gay community, a safer and friendlier place for everyone, no matter what colour you are.

The use of internet services for dating and meeting up with other men has gone up and up and UP. Places like gaydar.com.au or gay.com or aol.com or any of these gay profile sites may be the most powerful force shaping gay male sexuality today. They are certainly among the most important ways we meet each other and talk about who we are.

Along with the rise of these services (which stretch beyond national borders to a truly international meeting place and phenomenon) have arisen new forms of old prejudices. This is the issue we want to address and it relates to these phrases:
No fats, no fems, no Asians.
Not interested in arrogant, effeminate guys, asians or guys with attitude.
Seeking other similar goodlooking masculine guys, no fems, no asians please
No GAMs (no Gay Asian Males)

We're calling this: "sexual racism".

Some people relate racism only to the Ku Klux Klan and white supremacist groups. They think that racism is only when you hate other races or when you think your race is superior. But racism is also about prejudice based on race. It often involves the first definitions but is much more subtle.

Since I'm assuming that most everyone who is reading this is gay, I ask you to think of your own experience of being gay. It didn't take people to actively hate me in order for me to feel uncomfortable. It could just have been their discomfort or distaste. And I don't think any straight person ever told me that they were superior to me - but I did feel marginalized for not having the same equal rights. So, just as homophobia and heterosexism need not be blatant to be harmful, it's the same with racism.

If you're surfing the internet looking for friends, or dates, or shags, and you read profile after profiile that excludes you on the basis of something you have no control over - race - , how does it make you feel? No GAMS is only one letter away from No GAYS. Think of it that way. How about if you walk around in your workplace or your neighbourhood and occasionally, or more often than you think, you see a sign that says "No Gays."

We know that prejudices don't go away easily so while we hope to make people think, the prime aim of this campaign is practical and concrete. What we're working towards is eliminating language from public space that makes gay internet sites unfriendly and unwelcoming to not only Asian men, but to other men who are different. We recommend that men word their ads positively, to specify who or what we're looking for, rather than who or what we're not looking for, i.e. looking for slim guys, rather than "no fats."

It's become so easy and so common in Sydney (and some other places) for men to write the terms -No Asians, No GAMs, No Gay Asians - in their profiles. I hope that gay asian guys who use the internet for dating and meeting people, as well as our friends and supporters will join in a campaign to get these phrases out of public spaces where they create an environment where the people think it is acceptable and where it is hurtful to those who encounter it.

http://www.andyquan.com/X/gam.htm