Common Misconceptions about Masturbation

Masturbation is evil and against God

The church preaches abstinence including against masturbation, sex before marriage and homosexuality. Masturbation is not evil and you have to make up your own mind on your religious beliefs. The specific passage of the Bible that is used to demonize masturbation speaks about "spilling your seed" various scholars have suggested that this actually refers to spilling grain seed not your own semen.

It causes Acne

Masturbation does not cause acne, there is absolutely no proof to this argument. It is used because many boys start masturbating during puberty when their hormones are going wild causing acne. So the church of old used to say that acne was caused by masturbation.

Masturbation will make you go blind

This is an old wives tale and again sued because during puberty boys (and girls) often discover that they need glasses, pure coincidence

Only gay guys masturbate

Ask any straight guy is he jerks off and he will probably admit to it. Masturbating doesn't make you gay, nor do only gay guys masturbate! See the movie There's something about Mary - the straight guy masturbates in that, or American Pie one or two.

You can catch diseases

Solo masturbation is absolutely safe sex and you cannot catch anything, unless you are doing it with someone else and use their semen as a lubricant.

People can tell you masturbate

There is no way that someone else can tell you masturbate, unless they catch you in the act!

Masturbating makes you want more sex

This is a difficult one to answer. Yes if you masturbate you may be more sexually aware, but then on he other hand if you do jerk off before going on a date then you will be a little bit more calm.

You can hurt your penis

Provided that you are not bashing the crap out of your penis, you are not going to do any lasting damage. Make sure that if you are cut that you use some sort of lubricant or you can end up chafing your penis!

Masturbating counts as losing your virginity

Sorry guys, but doing it by yourself doesn't count! Everyone has a different view on what does and doesn't constitute losing their virginity. For some it is jerking another guy off, while for others it is only the act of anal sex that actually constitute full sex!

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Sex Toys

Sex toys are not just the realm of women, they are hugely popular with gay men and there are lots of different toys to choose from. Sex toys for men range from lifelike dildos to more unusual things such as restraints and slings.

There is something incredibly naughty and forbidden about sex toys that make even the most open person blush and giggle about them. But so many men have at least one type of sex toy in their cupboard and drawer that they are almost de-rigor to own at least one!

Don't discount sex toys as only something that other people use, they can be an extremely fun and exciting way of spicing up your sex life, and they can also help you to better relate to your own sexuality.

The most common sex toys are described below and at the end of the page is a link to a few sex shops where you can discretely make your purchase online!

Dildos

By far the most common and first thought of sex toy is the good old fashioned dildo. They come in all manner of shapes, sizes, colours and actions. Some are just long thin tools that are hard and inflexible, while some are molded off real penises such as the new Lukas Ridgestone dildo with retractable foreskin. Some vibrate, some squirm and some even spurt liquid!

Dildo's are used to give yourself or your partner anal pleasure. Always use lubricant with dildos and never share them between partners. Also many of the dildos made are for women and are quite hard and inflexible, while a lot of the dildo's made for men are more flexible and softer made out of rubber. As a general rule if you are on the he market for a dildo choose something that feels like a cock and not something that looks like a small missile.

Butt Plugs

Butt Plugs are used to help stretch the ass for penetration and also to give anal pleasure. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, from quite thin long probes all the way up to very large cone shaped devices. They almost always have some sort of large base that prevents them from disappearing up the recipients ass and also making them fit flush against the ass when inserted.

Some guys also use buttplugs under their clothes so they are getting anal stimulation all through the day. Although this can cause uncontrollable muscle spasms and can be quite dangerous.

Anal Beads

Anal Beads are another wonderful anal sex toy. They are used for anal stimulation and are inserted in the the ass. They look like a bunch of balls stuck together with either a cord or a long probe. As they are inserted into your ass they cause pleasure as they pop through the anal sphincter and massage the prostate gland.

Cock Rings

Cock Rings are used to prolong the time to orgasm and help to keep the penis hard during sex. Cock rings can come in a variety of types including metal rings, rubber and leather. The cock ring is placed over the cock and balls when the penis is still flaccid. It works by constricting the blood flow from the penis and balls when the penis is hard. Be careful with cock rings because size can actually be quite deceptive and putting ion a smaller cock ring and then not being able to get it off can be an extremely painful and uncomfortable experience!

Other types of sex toys include:

* Masturbation Tools
* Restraints
* Slings
* Handcuffs
* Love Dolls
* Tit (nipple) Clamps

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Sex Toy Rules

* Never Share Sex Toys between partners, if you do use a condom on it!
* Always wash your sex toys after use in warm soapy water (if rubber, metal etc.)
* Never put anything in your ass that you can't remove
* Never use anything that can break like glass etc.
* Don't insert edible items inside - they can rot and cause enormous infections
* Ditto on anything alive like a gerbil
* Don't use anything flammable

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Gay Sex Without Regret

What is Safe For You?

Very few things we do when having sex are likely to result in HIV. When you know the basics of how HIV can be passed on, you can decide what sex without regret means for you. For a sexual activity to pass on HIV there has to be:

* a HIV positive person
* a bodily fluid with HIV in it (cum or blood)
* enough HIV in that fluid to be passed on
* another person
* a way for the HIV to get into the other person's bloodstream

Without all of these things, it is impossible for HIV to be passed on. The amount of HIV in the blood and cum of a HIV positive person varies over time. The more virus there is, the more chance there is of being able to pass on HIV. This is called viral load. A person has the greatest viral load and is most able to pass on HIV immediately after they have just gotten HIV themselves (and may not even know they have HIV). So let's look at what we enjoy doing and how to reduce the chance of HIV being passed on.

Kissing and Cuddling

HIV cannot be spread by spit. There is no evidence that kissing or cuddling could lead to HIV being passed on. However, try to avoid deep kissing if both you and your partner have:

* open mouth sores
* open cuts in the mouth
* bleeding lips or gums as these involve blood and there's a small chance of HIV being passed on.

Wanking each other: Mutual Masturbation

HIV is NOT passed on by:

* wanking, either alone or with someone else
* massage and body stroking
* cumming on somebody (if there are no open cuts or sores) Avoid using someone else's cum as a lubricant. It might enter the tip of the cock, or small abrasions on your cock. This might allow HIV to be passed into the blood stream.

Oral Sex

Sucking and being sucked

HIV is not passed on from the mouth to someone else's cock. There are a small number of recorded cases of people getting HIV from taking cum into their mouth. In almost all of the cases the person had herpes sores, cuts or infections in their mouth. It isn't easy for HIV to enter the bloodstream via the mouth or throat. If you're HIV negativeand there is any bleeding in your mouth, or if you have a gum disease or other oral infections (such as a sore throat) take extra care. Brushing your teeth before oral sex can give you bleeding gums. To be really safe, you can pull his cock out of your mouth before he cums, so that you do not get cum in your mouth. A condom on the cock you're sucking is an ultra-safe strategy.

Rimming: Licking out

Rimming, licking another person's arse, does not pass on HIV. However, some other serious illnesses such as viral hepatitis are easily passed on this way. You can use sheets of clear plastic food wrap or a dental dam as protection.

Being fucked: Passive fucking

If you're HIV negative, being fucked by another guy's cock up your arse without a condom is the most likely way of getting HIV, if you're not 100% certain of your partner's HIV status, or if you know your sex partner is HIV positive. Cum that carries HIV can easily enter the bloodstream through the lining of the arse and through small cuts or abrasions that occur during fucking. Having your sex partner use a condom with a water-based lubricant is the best way to reduce the chances of getting or giving HIV or other STDs.

Fucking: Active fucking

If you're HIV negative, fucking another guy up the arse without a condom on your cock is another likely way of getting HIV, if you're not 100% certain of your sex partner's HIV status, or if you know your sex partner is HIV positive. Many guys think that because they're the one doing the fucking, the HIV can't enter their body. but it can enter the cock through the opening at the tip (the meatus), or through tiny cuts or scratches on the cock. Reduce the chances of getting or giving HIV by using a condom and a water-based lubricant.

Condom Hints 1

Try experimenting with condoms before using them for sex. Get yourself used to the feel of them. Wank with them on. Try tearing one or two while you've got them on, so that you can feel what that's like. You can feel the difference, so that if a condom tears when you're fucking, you'll know when to pull out.

* Put the condom on before starting to fuck, not just before you're about to cum.
* When putting the condom on, squeeze the air out of the tip first. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of your cock to prevent it slipping off.
* If you're uncircumcised, pull your foreskin back before fitting the condom on. You might need to practice to find out how to get a condom to stay on.
* Choose a brand of condoms that suits your cock size and shape.

Pulling out

Withdrawal (pulling out before cumming) does not protect you from giving or getting HIV. Some guys do this as a way to have the thrill of fucking without using condoms, thinking that if the person fucking pulls out in time, this counts as safe sex. This isn't true. Withdrawal can still lead to HIV being passed on because:

* if you're the active partner (the one doing the fucking) blood from your partner's arse can still enter the hole at the tip of your cock, or get into tiny scratches or cuts on your cock.
* if you're the passive partner (the one being fucked), there's no guarantee that your partner won't cum in your arse. Withdrawal before orgasm is a very difficult thing to time perfectly! Again, using condoms and a water-based lubricant can prevent this risk.

Condom Hints 2

Some people will tell you that condoms often break. However, often the mistakes that people make that lead to condom breakage can be easily corrected. Condoms aren't 100% reliable, but using them correctly is the best way there is to make fucking safe. Remember the following:

* Use lots of water-based lubricant such as KY jelly, Wet Stuff, Glyde or Lubafax. Some people mistakenly use oil based lubricants like Vaseline, baby oil, hand creams, Intensive Care or other oil based lubes, without realising that these actually dissolve the latex of the condom, leading to breakages.
* Check the use by date on your condoms. Avoid using out-of-date condoms.
* Be sure to buy condoms made to Australian standards-check the outside of the pack.
* Never leave condoms out in the sun, or near any sharp objects that might damage them, or in the glove box of your car for a prolonged period of time.
* Don't store your condoms near extreme heat or cold.
* Don't use ultra-thin condoms as these are designed for vaginal sex. Anal sex puts more stress on condoms. Use extra strength condoms for anal sex.

Fucking Without Condoms
"Negotiated Safety"

Some people who share the same known HIV status choose to fuck without condoms. This can only be safe when you both know for certain that you're bothHIV negativeor both HIV positive. Discuss with your partner how important it is for you to fuck without condoms. If it's not that important, then keep using them. If you want to fuck without condoms, then here are some steps you could follow:

If you're both HIV positive

Talk with your doctor about the possible effects of being exposed to another strain of the virus. It's your choice to enjoy unprotected fucking with another HIV positive person if you both want to.

If you think you're both HIV negative

If you both want to fuck without condoms, then both get tested for HIV. Be completely honest about your results, or agree to go and get tested and collect your results together. What would it mean if one of you had HIV and the other didn't? Talk about this first. If it would mean the end of the relationship then maybe you should just keep using condoms? Continue to use condoms every time you fuck for 3 months after either of you could possibly have come into contact with HIV. After 3 months, both get tested again.
If one of you has HIV and the other does not

Keep using condoms and water-based lubricant every time you fuck. If you need support around this contact the PLC (Positive Living Centre) or other agencies listed on the Directory page.
If you know you're both HIV negative

Discuss your future plans. Make a commitment to each other that you'll avoid fucking outside of your relationship (this strategy is more successful) or that if either of you fuck with anyone else you will use condoms (this strategy is less successful). You will need to make a decision about trusting each other. Make a commitment that if either of you has a slip-up or an accident that results in unsafe sex outside of the relationship, you'll agree to tell the other immediately. You'll need to go back to safe sex until you've both been tested twice again 3 months apart.

* Talk with each other about how slip-ups or accidents might happen. Agree in advance that it won't mean the end of your relationship. Don't punish your partner for being honest.
* You might want to agree in advance that either partner can insist on using condoms again, without having to explain why.
* If all of this seems like too much to handle, then keep using condoms whenever you fuck.

Vaginal Sex

HIV can be passed on during vaginal sex. The virus is found in both cum and vaginal fluids. If you're fucking with a woman the best way to prevent HIV being passed on either way is to use a condom with water-based lubricant.HIV is unlikely to be passed on in oral sex when a man is going down on a woman although the risk increases if there is menstrual blood. If there are cuts or sores on the man's mouth sheets of clear plastic food wrap, or a dental dam, can be used to protect against HIV being passed on. Check out the range of heterosexual safe sex information available.

Drugs and Alcohol

Using drugs or alcohol might affect your ability to make sensible decisions about having safe sex, and your ability to let your partner know what you want. It's a good idea to make the choice to be prepared for safe sex before using drugs and alcohol. Making sure you've always got condoms and water-based lubricant with you can make it easier decision to have sex without regret.

Shooting Up

If you inject drugs remember that each person should use a new clean needle and other equipment every time. Do not share needles, swabs, spoons, filters or tourniquets!

Being committed to safe sex all the time isn't easy. There are always going to be times when it's hard to stick to safe sex. It's important to be able to talk about this with people we trust. We should not be judgmental if friends tell us that they have had a slip-up. Most gay men can remember or imagine what leads to an unsafe incident. Remember that slip-ups don't mean we've gone off the rails or that we are bad. Just make the decision to have safe sex in future-for a long life enjoying sex without regret.

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Tips to be a great kisser

* Don't drool all over the guy and leave huge big trails of saliva.
* Open your mouth and let his tongue into your mouth and do the same.
* A gentle nibble is OK, but hard biting is nasty and a real turn off.
* Gentle nibble on the neck, ears and back of the neck is very erotic.
* Don't try and cover his entire mouth with yours like a suction cup, that is just plain gross!
* Don't try and stick your tongue so far down his mouth that he can't breath.
* Do duel with each other's tongues.
* Use your tongue to sensually trace over his teeth and his lips.
* Don't let your tongue act like it is searching for lost food between his teeth!
* Gently hold the back of his head while kissing him.
* Or run your fingers through his hair at the same time, it causes goosebumps all over.
* Move your lips around and respond to him when he is kissing you.
* Don't just stand or site there like a stunned mullet!

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Baby Love

Created as a video-clip and beated by the song "Sugar Baby Love" by the Rubbet's, the video tells humorously the lovey-dovey epic of a little boy then of a young man who, after discovering his homosexuality lived his sexual life although he's suffering from homophobic attacks. We observe him year after year, searching for The big love.
Although the gay comunity has been particularly sensitized with prevention since the very beginning of the AIDS, we observe a resumption of non-protected practices these last few years. Nowadays, homosexuals reprensent a fourth of new diagnosed cases and more than 4 discover they disease everyday. This is a lesson also to all people not homosexual in the moment decide to make occasional sex without precautions.

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Unsafe Sex

Statistics about HIV infection indicate that almost 20 years into the Era of AIDS, gay men -- especially young gay men -- continue to have unsafe sex and to become infected with HIV. What’s that all about?

Sexual desire is rarely a rational thing. Our mind tell us one thing; our libido tells us another. We attend that safer sex class and decide what level of risk we’re comfortable with. But there is other information, too: what about that article we read that seemed to say AIDS wasn’t any worse than diabetes or something? It’s confusing. Then we find ourselves in a sexual situation and find it’s not so easy to make those choices. We’ve had a bit too much to drink, or we’re really horny, or the guy we are with is especially hot. Whatever the reason, we find we’ve “slipped,” and now we’re anxious.

It’s useful to make a distinction between “unprotected” and “unsafe.” Sex can be unprotected and still be safe if you and your partner are both without any STD and engage in no risky behavior with anyone else. The problem here is trust. Are you comfortable betting your health on your ability to be honest with your partner and to trust him completely? What if one of you has sex outside the relationship -- can you talk about it?

It’s also important to make a distinction between the fantasy of risky sex and reality. To fantasize about no-holds-barred sex can be an exploration of passion, eroticism and intimacy. Nothing wrong with that.

When one activist was asked why gay men continue to have unsafe sex his answer was simple: “It’s warm, it’s wet and it’s intensely human.” Using a condom every time sounds like a great strategy. It’s just very difficult to follow 100 percent of the time.

Each of us must assess what level of risk he’s comfortable with. Some men decide that smoking isn’t too risky for them, others wouldn’t consider it. Some men ride their motorcycles without a helmet; others wouldn’t ride a bike at all. Some men will decide that they wouldn’t have oral sex with a partner without using a condom, others will decide that anal sex without ejaculation is acceptable risk to them.

If you find yourself making decisions about what’s OK based solely on how hot your potential partner is, or how horny you are, or how high you are, it’s time to level with yourself. What circumstances cause you to want risky sex? When have you actually engaged in sex you’ve decided previously is too risky for you? When you wanted to have unsafe sex and didn’t, what stopped you?

Good sex is sex that you feel good about both when you are having it and afterwards. If you find yourself in situations that cause you to feel bad about yourself or about what you are doing, it’s time to take a look at what you are doing and to recommit yourself to sex that is both hot and healthy.

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